Be The Tree ~ How To Win In Conflict

A guide to winning conflict for non confrontational people.

Just like any war, there are rarely winners in conflicting arguments or events. There is good reason, because often in spite of all your evidence, theories or dedication to your belief, they too are resolute. Let’s face it, otherwise there wouldn’t be conflict, right?


So how can you ever win against the un-winnable?


There are a number of amazing features about tree’s that most of us never recognise. Their roots are deep especially when they live in solitude. Their resilience to hardship is quite simply incredible. They provide shelter for those around them and they spend their entire life, just being exactly what they are, a tree.

These are all admirable features, and on a spiritual path something we should all embody;

  • A deeply connected life
  • Centred and comfortable in our own company
  • Willing and able to provide for others.
  • Not fearful, nor ashamed
  • Confident in your space.

Trees are always calm. I’m willing to bet you’ve never seen an angry tree. Sure, maybe one blowing in the storm, but the tree wasn’t angry it was just going with the flow of the wind around it, all the while it remained calm at it’s roots.

So how do you win at conflict?


When you encounter someone of opposing views, the best thing that you can do is to be resolute, but resilient to their words and don’t take offence. Most people are arguing from their own perspective and have little insight into others.

Be prepared for their force, but let it move around you not through you. Be firmly grounded in the roots of your belief, but be aware that they won’t share them in that moment.


Like all things admirable, it’s not always easy and you won’t always get it right, but it’s a practice worth pursuing.




Jasmin Newman

Jasmin Newman is a relationships coach who recognises the importance of working on our perception of self, as the most important component to sustaining healthy relationships with others. She is passionate about helping improve the lives of others and to see a world in which people take responsibility for their outcomes with confidence. She is a writer, speaker and presenter and mother of two magnificent children.